That particular little oneshot was basically born out of the same idea that has already turned into 'Lightning'. I'm talking about the whole Hermione leaving a wounded Draco on the battle field and he knows she'll be back and he'll be dead then. This is still not what I originally had in mind, but I tried writing that and it didn't work, so I assume this was my last attempt to put this idea into words.
It was also inspired by several pictures at 'Amour invitus', showing Draco and Hermione by the lake - the whole forbidden love cliché par excellence. I just love the whole hyper romantic atmosphere thing, I can't help it. Usually, I'm not that much of a sucker for that type of cliché, but it is beautiful, don't you agree?
'Sanity' is one of my longer oneshots and though I seriously love them all, definitely one of my very favorites.
I'm completely in love with the way it conjures pictures in your head, even though I hardly wrote anything but dialogue. The two narrating parts at the beginning and the end are plain and simple and keeping to minimum, but still tell you all you have to know. In fact, I think more words would spoil it. It's very expressive this way. And the dialogue itself it somewhat amazing, because you can somehow see it happening like this and feel what they're going through without stupid in-between lines. Plus, it's in character, I think.
There are some cute aspects to their relationship going from mere acceptance of the other's presence to civility and peaceful co-existence to a fragile friendship of sorts to actual mutual liking and perhaps maybe (btw, I always wanted to use that term in one of my stories) more.
I love how soft the changes are and how both Draco and Hermione have problems trusting each other. The hesitant attempts to make conversation, wanting to know school stuff and all... Draco not knowing how to communicate, with the horribly overdone almost victorian way of talking... That was really nice, don't you agree?
Oooh! I loved the part when Hermione was asleep and he was insulted by her not answering him and the slight desperation because he'd been nice to her and not calling her 'mudblood' anymore and all that. Their relationship is based on Draco feeling lonely.
Let's face it. Calling Crabbe or Goyle or Pansy his friends would make him look a bit pathetic, wouldn't it? That's the drawback about being a Slytherin. You can't afford real friends. Hermione though, her friendship with Harry and Ron is completely genuine and she doesn't depend on Malfoy of all people being nice to her. Their mutual understanding is really born out of the fact that Draco doesn't have anybody he can really talk to.
This oneshot might be the most canon thing I have ever written, apart from 'Irony'.
The 'soft cake' bit, I mostly wrote, because that day I'd been eating a whole fucking lot of them (they're my favorites), but I think it worked out nicely, because they are muggle stuff and Draco naturally has to struggle with that a tiny little bit.
I adore writing drunk characters, since I think the whole 'no inhibitions' thing makes people so much more interesting (including me). Hermione is especially nice to get drunk, seeing as she is sort of an uptight prude in real life, as horrible as that sounds.
My favorite line:
“Ya name. Draco. I love saying it, ‘cause ‘t sounds as if it’s dripping with deliciousness.”
So true, isn't it? His name is so hot. I still wonder why JKR gave him that particular name. It's too huge and awesome for the coward she had in mind when designing the character. All her other names are completely stereotypical, perfect fits for the parts the persons had to play. But 'Draco' doesn't sound like a spoiled rich kid or a mean little playground bully or a coward. It sounds too strong for a character that weak. Not that I complain. His name is part of the charm that is fanfiction him. And I'm so drawn to hot names...
Hehe, I adored the drunken kiss and Draco's reaction, but the sober again interaction and that kiss was even more adorable. I very much enjoyed writing it. Especially because it didn't say 'They kissed', but I let the characters do all the explaining. Literally! I tried something new out there and it worked out perfectly!
Uh-oh... Now we're getting to the part that happened after Draco almost killed Dumbledore. I'm sticking to the HBP plot, you may have noticed. Hermione's anger is painful. Especially the "You had me there, right in your arms, in your fucking arms and all you did was kiss me back! Do you know how much that disgusts me? Just thinking about it makes me sick!”. That was almost too cruel, don't you think?
I really was looking for the worst things she could throw at him. I wanted him to be really hurt by what she was saying. And mostly just hating himself. He does run off in the end. That part is especially painful. I think I did a good job there.
I was just thinking, had I really kept to the HBP plot, Draco would have had even more reason to be down and in need of a friend, and even more defensive and Hermione would have noticed that bit. So I guess, I didn't keep to the plot a hundred percently. But I still like it and it's pretty close to being canon.
I killed Draco. I tend to do that, you may have noticed. At the end of my oneshots, he's mostly even more miserable than he's been at the beginning or he doesn't even live anymore. I appear to like destroying him. Hm... Must be my eternal adoration for dark stuff and unfulfilled love.
Ah, by the way, the way Hermione didn't say 'I love you' in the end, but left the sentence unfinished... That was awesome. And perhaps making the clichéishness of it all seem less severe.
I think the story in this oneshot is pretty well-done and touching and the way it's written is nice as well. Thus (or ergo), I'm rather proud of myself for it. Melody (that's my muse's name, in case you can't remember) was back for it, as well, so I guess I owe her a big 'thank you'.
I'm glad I had some readers who liked it and added it to favorites! Means a lot to me!